May 2013
“It’s really nice when people tell you that you need help but can’t...”
– 🏄🏄🏄🏄🏄
hellnawhellnaw:
Looking at the PDF menu for Fenton’s doesn’t count as actually preparing to move.Â
:(((
OF COURSE IT DOES
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“fatherly advice: never get on one knee for a woman who won’t get on two for you.”
– thanks playboy!
the people I’m with at this bar are currently discussing how great entourage is
embarrassed that I’m more riveted by this debate episode of west wing than I’ve ever been by a real presidential debate
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“have i always been like this, or did you make me this way?”
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“Sara Padio”
– the sarah padial story
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the other night a food delivery guy rang the buzzer and it startled me and I flinched (like always), except this time I was drinking a beer and CHIPPED MY FRONT TOOTH on the bottle and oh god I am a caricature of myself.
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i’m having a nightmare right now in which two boys and their grandmother are sitting on the floor of the shop eating lunchables and when i say nightmare i mean a thing that is actually happening.
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“do you still live with your parents?”
– question I’m dying to ask most of my exes
if you Wikipedia Bret Michaels
he has two “associated acts” and one of them is the Beatles
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what do I get my dad for his birthday
a latrice royale shirt he will never wear or what guys?
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I’ve never seen kitchen nightmares before right now and I am SOBBING
