girl upstairs is mixing things up addendum: going for round two! and also my head hurts.
you are my favorite– me
of course i'm watching veronica mars and eating...
don’t be stupid.
more google voice. so helpful!
Hey man, I was in the morning. How are you looking so good so far and I love the baby career baby. I 15. It’s P. S. P. S, P, as being a stand.
new voicemail from hannah (as transcribed by...
Hey, So I am. I suggest what I’m letting you know how that goes. I’ll be there soon, now And I hope you good luck work. There you go.
just saw the social network with hannah. and then immediately checked facebook on our phones.
hannah: are we wearing the same flower in our tumblr pictures?
me: the power flower you mean? yeah
hannah: OF COURSE IT HAS A NAME
me: he's REALLY cute. except what is up with that hideous hat?
hannah dubs: that's like his signature accessory.
me: oh. dealbreaker.
me: here's some bagel. oh, do you want cream cheese?
hannah: don't be stupid.
beth: you're up early
me: never went to bed!
pondering why i am more pragmatically attracted to food than men
the average woman eats seven pounds of lipstick in her lifetime– this snapple fact is exclusively about me and my red party lips.
failsafe plan for making me fall in love with you...
make me laugh give me free food be jewy
this is why i love you
me: i think that if i found out i couldn't eat gluten, i would just commit suicide. by eating gluten.
pam: but it's a slow and agonizing death...
me: yeah but i could ease my suffering WITH GLUTEN
pam: not gonna lie... considered it.
the perks of having a southern belle, english...
me: i accidentally said y'all once and everyone laughed at me
dad: WELL DID YOU TELL THEM YOU WERE GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT?!?
me: thanks hannah, now your dad thinks i'm a total pervert
hannah's dad: i had my suspicions...
if men were the ones with periods, nothing would ever get done.– me
oreos just aren’t worth it unless they’re double stuff– me
MARC MARON INTERVIEWING IRA GLASS
jewgasm my ovaries are going into hyperdrive
home movies is not on netflix instant watch
mac and cheese undoes all evils.
oh, heck!– batpam (all the time)
batpam: check belly full of good food: check more food on the way: check starbucks cup full of wine: check let’s do this.
one of the great reasons to have kids is glowsticks– professor strothkamp
this summer: a representative text exchange
me: hola this is a drunk text
anna: and this is a totally sober one
anna: oh my goodness you're giberish texting!!
anna: maybe it's a secret code
me: you are my favorite
me: GOODNIGHT FAVORITE
me: i love you so much
anna: bonne nuit!
perfect lazy rainy saturday
things happening right now
ear-splitting dance party upstairs fire alarm me naked