October 2010
morning sex!
girl upstairs is mixing things up
addendum: going for round two! and also my head hurts.
you are my favorite
– me
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of course i'm watching veronica mars and eating...
don’t be stupid.
more google voice. so helpful!
Hey man, I was in the morning. How are you looking so good so far and I love the baby career baby. I 15. It’s P. S. P. S, P, as being a stand.
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new voicemail from hannah (as transcribed by...
Hey, So I am. I suggest what I’m letting you know how that goes. I’ll be there soon, now And I hope you good luck work. There you go.
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just saw the social network with hannah. and then immediately checked facebook on our phones.
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hannah: are we wearing the same flower in our tumblr pictures?
me: the power flower you mean? yeah
hannah: OF COURSE IT HAS A NAME
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me: he's REALLY cute. except what is up with that hideous hat?
hannah dubs: that's like his signature accessory.
me: oh. dealbreaker.
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me: here's some bagel. oh, do you want cream cheese?
hannah: don't be stupid.
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beth: you're up early
me: never went to bed!
beth: yikes.
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pondering why i am more pragmatically attracted to food than men
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the average woman eats seven pounds of lipstick in her lifetime
– this snapple fact is exclusively about me and my red party lips.
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failsafe plan for making me fall in love with you...
make me laugh
give me free food
be jewy
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this is why i love you
me: i think that if i found out i couldn't eat gluten, i would just commit suicide. by eating gluten.
pam: but it's a slow and agonizing death...
me: yeah but i could ease my suffering WITH GLUTEN
pam: not gonna lie... considered it.
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the perks of having a southern belle, english...
me: i accidentally said y'all once and everyone laughed at me
dad: WELL DID YOU TELL THEM YOU WERE GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT?!?
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typical
me: thanks hannah, now your dad thinks i'm a total pervert
hannah's dad: i had my suspicions...
if men were the ones with periods, nothing would ever get done.
– me
oreos just aren’t worth it unless they’re double stuff
– me
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MARC MARON INTERVIEWING IRA GLASS
jewgasm
my ovaries are going into hyperdrive
home movies is not on netflix instant watch
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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mac and cheese undoes all evils.
oh, heck!
– batpam (all the time)
batpam: check
belly full of good food: check
more food on the way: check
starbucks cup full of wine: check
let’s do this.
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one of the great reasons to have kids is glowsticks
– professor strothkamp
this summer: a representative text exchange
me: hola this is a drunk text
anna: and this is a totally sober one
me: eyqpierhekntgm,dbljkfgewkjhfkJSDGFkjhdfjksghapodnvmdajksgp!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anna: oh my goodness you're giberish texting!!
anna: maybe it's a secret code
me: nope
me: you are my favorite
me: GOODNIGHT FAVORITE
me: i love you so much
anna: bonne nuit!
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perfect lazy rainy saturday
things happening right now
ear-splitting dance party upstairs
fire alarm
me naked